Trim your beard before trimming your turkey or the Christmas 🌲!

So I was halfway into #noshavenovember before I realized I did not want to have hair in all my Thanksgiving fixins! I could see it now, the whole family there sitting down ready to enjoy all the goodness that Thanksgiving dinner brings like smashed potatoes with gravy, string beans marinated in special secret sauce, asperagus and brussel sprouts! Everyone with their plates in front of them and ready to eat after saying Grace, they look down and before the fork hits their mouth they see IT!, part of my bearded November challenge just chilling there on top of the turkey and potatoes 🤢. It would be my last supper ever made! All because I did not save for some stupid social media challenge!
Well I got on Amazon and did what any normal caring human would do and ordered me this Excellent men’s trimmer.
I waited the usual 2 days shipping and in that time the beard just grew longer. My son thought Mommy had left his dad and gotten a freedom fighter from the Confederate army and my wife loved the fact that she could use my face as a loofa!
The dog and cat enjoyed finding snacks in my beard that had fallen lost. As soon as the doorbell rang I jumped off my ass and grabbed the box and ripped it open and plugged that sucker in! After waiting 24 hours to make sure the razor was charged I went to work on destroying the masterpiece that was on my face. I removed the attachment that was on it and went full raw blade, I was not going to leave anything that resembled a beard! Turning it on I felt the power of the dark side vibrating in my hand. It felt powerful and just slid across my face like butter.
It took off nearly all the hair and left just stubble that I would have to shave with a regular razor. Well after the cleanup, I looked 10 years younger and my kids remembered I was still here but the wife is now on tinder looking for a bearded man who can be her loofa that she lost ☹️.
This year there will be no wayward hairs from this cook and the family will be happy once more! Save your family and order this unit and you will not be disappointed this Christmas! Say NO to #noshavenovember and YES to #nohairinmyfood
Order here if you want to get this for your man for Christmas .


Squissors™ – The Only Lemon & Lime Squeezer with a Built In Blade

Have you ever wanted to squeeze the living hell out of something and cut it in half while you did it 🔪? No? Maybe just me then, well I found the perfect tool to cut citrus in half while doing just that! It’s the Squissors™ – The Only Lemon & Lime Squeezer with a Built In Blade.

I bought these from here

And let me tell you these things are awesome. I usually use the ones that I you can buy at the Mexican stores but those work ok for small citrus, I got this for using it in the huge limes and lemons department. Before if anyone purchased large limes or lemons I had to cut them in quarters to get them to fit. With this to I just leave it whole of cut it in half which I prefer. The Squissors™ has a sharp blade that cuts whatever is in its way in half be it an orange, lemon, tangerine, or lime.

These are made to last for a long time. If you ever notice the ones that are made from metal rust and the acid eats away at it until they snap. I’ve had one snap and it is not pretty or safe. It pinched me when it busted and left a nice bruise. Squissors™ don’t need sharpening or much maintenance other than cleaning after each use before putting it away. If you want to see it in action go over to my YouTube page and check it 🎬. Leave a like and comment any questions you have for me there.